Holland was shocked when the popular actor Antonie Kamerling on 6 October 2010 committed suicide. He was only 44 years old. The disbelief was great, because he seems to be having everything what a human wish for: a wonderful career, a nice woman and 2 beautiful children, the 11-year old Merlijn and the 5-year old Vlinder. Antonie seems to be suffering a manic depression. Meanwhile Merlijn is grown up and he can't make an image who his father was. Merlijn remembers him as not manic depressed and sees him not as a famous actor and singer, for Merlijn he only was a cheerful father, who always played soccer and was frolic. Only later Merlijn realized how many people known his father and how popular he was in the film roles from among others Goede Tijden, Slechte Tijden, All Stars en The little Blond Dead. What is left 10 years later from the star status of his father? Do people recognize him as they see a picture of him? Where are they thinking about? Is Antonie Kamerling still as popular as he was or is he nowadays mostly the man who committed suicide?