About the writer and Swedish academy member Horace Engdahl. Through a personal pilgrimage to Rome, we get a unique insight into his thoughts and reflections on life and career, and about the year when the Nobel Prize was canceled and he became "Sweden's most hated man". Horace Engdahl was one of the key figures in the crisis that shook the Swedish Academy in 2017/2018 in connection with "metoo" and the process surrounding the so-called "cultural profile". Now we get to hear his own view of the events.